Praise the Lord I am home!!!!! Except, I wasn’t always home. I guess I’m sort of like the prodigal son in that way.
My whole life growing up felt mostly like something that was done to me, not something I had control over. I spent most of my adolescent years angry. Angry at God for not giving me a perfect family, or a rich family, or the best things, or whatever angsty-teen me wanted. I grew up without parents, with sisters that were mean to me, kids in school that bullied me. All I could think of was, “God you suck!” I spent years angry.
I wasn’t raised in any sort of religion. Sure, I went to Mass on Sundays with my grandparents, but it was because I was forced to. I hated it. I thought it was so awkward and so boring and I had no idea what they were talking about. The entire story of the Bible had never really been explained to me. When Easter rolled around, I remember every year thinking, “What the heck does He is Risen mean? He’s a zombie? He’s coming back to life to smite us all?” The most I knew about God was what I had been told by other kids, and that was that He hated gays and was a character on family guy. Especially in middle school, if you were a religious kid, you got made fun of and left out, and I definitely didn’t need that target on my back, I thought.
Well, plot twist. Turns out 13-year-olds do not have an accurate representation of God sometimes. Most of what I learned had come from other kids and the internet, which, turns out isn’t always true. As I entered my junior year of high school, I started at a private Catholic school. At this time, I was still very angry with God. I was a very staunch liberal, defending the LGBTQ+ in school and defending “abortion rights” and screaming about how God was a judgmental bigot. I was the one screaming that God loves abortion and God would be a woman and all that stuff you hear people touting.
Fast forward to my freshman year of college. I was still strictly pro-abortion and hated the thought of anyone thinking I was weird if I was religious in any way. Sometimes, I still feel scared of people’s judgment. But something started changing in me. My heart started to soften. I started hanging out with people that just felt different and all I knew was that I wanted that.
Finally, one day, after crying myself to sleep, I woke up and sat up in bed. All I thought was, “this isn’t working. The way I am doing things is not getting me anywhere. I’m done, I’m giving up control. God, take it from here because I’m done.” And boy did He!
I spent the next several months reading the entire Bible for myself and it was nothing like I had imagined. It was amazing and magical, and I loved it! I knew all of it to be absolutely true. So, for the next few years I became a protestant. attending a Church of Christ congregation at my college. Then, how did I end up being Catholic you ask?
Over the next few months following the birth of my first, I spent a lot of time on YouTube doing research. I wanted to know what the differences were, why Catholicism was so “weird”, what it all meant. But what I found was way better! I watched a lot of videos from Lizzie Answers and a lot of apologetic videos and I came to find something disturbing.
Catholicism was all true!
Once I had this big realization, there was no going back. I met with a friend one day who I felt like just had the grace of God about her. It was then I decided to explore Catholicism as much as humanely possible, and I have never looked back! That week I registered for RCIA, and I have never wanted anything else. I have found the place that I call home. Catholicism is the one true Church founded by Jesus Christ and I hope that everyone comes home and comes to know the truth and beauty of it.
If you have questions about Catholicism, please do not hesitate to reach out to a priest or to friends or do your own research, even if it disagrees with your perspective. Please be open minded and willing to let God soften your heart to see the truth. Don’t just believe everything you see or hear on the internet or from others, but really seek to KNOW.
Please come home to the Church friends, Jesus is longing for you.
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