It’s hard not to feel really hurt and angry when someone insults something important to you. Our faith is included with all of that. It’s easy for other people to try to belittle our beliefs and the things we love but to us, they mean the world! Facing hate and judgement is hard, especially when it’s coming from someone close to us like our friends or family.
Let me just say, it is okay to take time to feel hurt. To feel pain. To feel and acknowledge those hard things like rejection and betrayal. I always find it best to take time away from the comments or the people that are upsetting me and just think. Think about how I feel, what God would have to say about this, consider every angle. Are they right? Am I feeling defensive because it’s not true? What would I want someone’s response to be? Was this said out of love or caring or was this person being rude? Was this person trying to get a reaction out of me? If so, maybe the best thing to do would be not to respond at all!
Once you take some time to analyze the issue, come back to it. We are all called to be gracious and kind towards other, but something people often forget is that “tolerance” is not a virtue. We do not have to tolerate people insulting us, our faith, or treating us badly. We do not have to take abuse or disrespect under any circumstances. We can respond with love and kindness, but we don’t have to endure anything. We do not have to be around people that hurt us.
If you think that maybe this person was trying to be helpful or maybe said something that hurt your feelings under a misconception, have a conversation. However, it’s important to wait until you are calm and in a good headspace. If I am wanting to have a discussion on something, one thing I do is bring a note with me that has bullet points basically responding to whatever they said. No one has ever made anyone believe differently or change their mind by screaming at them. Not to mention, somethings just take time.
Some things are really hard for people to grasp and for people to learn. Some things that we discuss with loved ones can take time for them to see or learn. There are also some things that just have to be found out from experience. Be patient and gentle with others. Sometimes, we have to learn to accept an apology we are never going to get.
We are always called to love but that does not mean we have to tolerate bad behavior. All we can do in these situations, is to be grateful and be gracious to others. This moment could be an amazing part of their testimony one day. If you are struggling hard with a situation and struggling to move on or let go, something that helps me is writing a letter to that person and then throwing it out or talking to my husband about it or someone who loves me. You could even try writing about the situation from a 3rd person perspective to see if that helps bring some clarity to your situation. I hope that this helped you, and may God be with you always through rough times!
Everything is possible with God!!!!!
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